Norbit

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Eddie Murphy does just about everything here, except make me laugh, in this unsophisticated romp that makes the "Carry On" films look like Ingmar Bergman. To be fair he's adaptable - thanks almost entirely to the skills of the Oscar nominated make-up team (33 folks get credited!) - as he plays the eponymous geek, his own larger-than-life wife "Rasputia" and his adopted Chinese dad "Wong" who runs the orphanage into which he was unceremoniously dumped as a baby. When fellow orphan "Kate" (Thandiwe Newton) returns to their hometown, he is desperate to rekindle their childhood friendship but he's gonna have to deal with his own wife and her fiancé "Delon" (Cuba Gooding Jr). Whilst all of this is going on, the orphanage takes centre stage as "Rasputia" and her hoodlum brothers have designs on the place that is going to makes matters even more awkward for "Norbit" and his romantic plans with "Kate" who is looking to buy the place, too. Can he save the day and get the gal? It might've looked good on the drawing board or perhaps Eddie Murphy just surrounded himself with people ill-prepared to just say no, but after about five minutes it's clear that this is for his die-hard fans only. It reinforces just about every stereotype going but not in a funny way. It's all written as if the audience were supposed to be eight years old watching a pantomime with fake boobs, wobbly bits where there shouldn't be and, well you get the drift. On the plus side, it doesn't hang about and the action comes quick and fast but to be honest, I found myself cringing way more than smiling, let alone giggling. Johnny Depp just about got away with wearing purple in "Wonkaland" in 2005 but it doesn't work for Murphy here at all. Nor does anything else. Puerile and vulgar, sorry.